How to not be creepy

It’s a lazy Thursday and you’re working at your favorite coffeeshop. You see someone cute across the room, and immediately forget about your job. Should you approach them? Should you stay quiet? If you do approach, how do you make sure you don’t come across as creepy?

I’ll tell you what I did.

I was recently at a coffee shop, and noticed a cute girl sitting alone, engrossed in a book. My friend nudged me to go talk to her. The book was the perfect conversation starter, he said. But all I could think about was how she probably came here to read, not to be hit on by some random guy. I didn’t want to be “that guy”—the creepy one who ruins her peaceful coffee shop experience.

So obviously I chickened out. Later that night when the anxious thoughts crept in, I thought more about what happened. Was I really worried about being creepy, or was there something else going on?

Shoot, if someone randomly hit on me at a coffeeshop, I’d be ecstatic. Maybe my fear of being perceived as creepy was just a cover for my fear of rejection and humiliation?

You see, creepy is in the eye of the beholder. If I approached with genuine interest and respect, chances are she’d see it for what it was—a friendly attempt to strike up a conversation. On the other hand, if I was awkward and hesitant, she’d likely pick up on that vibe and move tables.

In the end, I learned that approaching someone in public isn’t inherently creepy. It’s all about your attitude. Be genuine, respectful, and curious. And don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back. Twenty years from now you’ll be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did.